Words With Lisbeth

Holy shit, I’m tired of that attitude.

Yeah, we’re all competitive, Type-A folks and we intentionally have joined a community centered around “Elite Fitness” — so you can imagine there would be lots of competition. In the gym, on Facebook, everywhere. It bleeds into everything we do. Working out, working, even our home lives. Heck, my kids and I race each other to see who can get their pajamas on first. No lie. Every single night. “FIRST!” Yes, there have been knockdowns and even some cheating in that competition. We had to establish rules.

Man is a competitive beast.

But sometimes it’s a little much.  The attitudes take over out there and we see things like this:”My programming is better than your programming.” So too my coaching, my wraps, my shoes, my cues, my lifts, my breaks, and even my words. Or lack of words. “You like motivation? F*** YOU. I DON’T NEED MOTIVATION AND YOU’RE A PUSSY FOR NEEDING IT.”

Please.

Get over yourselves. Do what you need to do for you. Let the guy next to you do what he needs to do for him. And let that woman over there decide for herself. And that one. And that one.

Nobody died and put you — or any of us — in charge of the world. We all get to figure out what works for ourselves, if we’re lucky. If we’re not lucky and we don’t figure it out, then we remain sheep: doing what some blowhard intimidates us into doing.

Walt Whitman long ago said this: “You are also asking me questions, and I hear you; I answer that I cannot answer—you must find out for yourself.”

So, please, find out for yourself. Try things. Try everything you want to try. Read what you want to read. And then go do. And don’t pay a dime’s worth of attention to anyone raining on your parade. Just turn up the music and put more weight on the bar.

But that’s not me. And it’s probably not you. When you see something, I’m betting you speak up.

When we study something intensely — anything — be it Olympic weightlifting, writing, or clog dancing (I’m just seeing if you’re paying attention here), we have a hard time not noticing the flaws, the mistakes, the things that could be done better: this second pull, that foot position, that comma.

Somewhere inherent in our knowledge is our responsibility. F***ing responsibility. Something we clamor for all our lives and simultaneously resent. Because once you know better, you should do better. And if you know better, you should teach someone else better. It’s at the heart of life … and CrossFit. I once heard Coach Greg Glassman say this about CrossFit: “Once you learn it, it’s your responsibility to teach it to someone else.” And that applies to a lot of things.

So, no complaining, no crying, no hiding your knowledge under a bushel and saving it for yourself. If you know better, share it. Now does this mean you get to be a blowhard asshole, proclaiming you know best in every situation? No. Nobody likes that person. Learn some tact and figure out when to shut up. And remember your roles: be a student when you’re supposed to be a student …

But if you’ve got good knowledge, make sure you avail yourself of every opportunity to share it: help your neighbors, help your buddies, and help your kids. Lots of people have enough friends in the world but I’ve yet to meet anybody who said they had enough coaches or mentors.

If you know your shit, speak up. With knowledge, comes responsibility. And maybe (hopefully!) more PRs …

One person to tell you “Get back on the bar” or “One more box jump and then you can rest” or simply “3-2-1-Go.”

One person. 

How simple is that and yet how incredibly difficult? Most of us are independent by nature. We want to believe we can do it all alone, without the help of anyone else. We want to do it all by ourselves. For us, the weakness is not in our efforts, but in our wanting, in our need for anyone or anything else in this life.

Yet just one person can make all the difference in our workout, in our day, in our week, in our lives.

One person to cheer. One person to coach. One person to basically give a damn about us.

Get in the gym today. Listen to that one person. And be that one person for someone else.

Toss something today. No, not the barbell or a medicine ball or a kettlebell. (Although that is a lot of freakin’ fun.) I mean, throw something away. Get rid one thing in your life today that is weighing you down.

Something, anything. A pile of outdated magazines. An old grudge. Excessive punctuation. Free yourself of at least one thing today.

Now, don’t go crazy. “Honey, where are our wedding photos?’ “Those old things? Dumpster. Lisbeth said to get rid of something!” “And the couch?” “Didn’t you hear? K-Starr said sitting kills! Look at how much space we have in the living room! Let’s do Turkish Get-ups with the cat!”

Just look at your life and see where you can lighten up. In the gym, in the office, in your relationships. Just one thing, today. You’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel.

Like the closing paragraph here. Who needs that? Bye.

Will you fill it? Squander it? Waste it? Or merely get lost in the weights, the workout, the days and the details … your actions never adding up to more than the sum of their parts. Partial ROM. A so-so WOD. Some of those goals.

Will your life pass you by like a warm summer breeze, heavy with possibility but light on achievement? Will the bars stay racked and the kettlebells unswung and the balls merely decoration? Will your heart stay heavy with want for so much in this life, while your lips pass only frivolities?

What happened to the new life you were going to live — the one with mad passion and breathtaking dares? It sits now in your closet, behind the old sweaters, waiting to come out and play, lost among the broken shoes.

You had such dreams and plans, such life and energy, such want. Desire sprung from every word you passed. You wanted it all, and you had plans to get there.

What happened?

Or, more importantly … is it too late? Only you know this answer. Perhaps life’s bell has rung for you. Maybe you are too old, too worn, too tired, too busy, too young.

Or maybe everything you ever wanted is still waiting for you and all you have to do is work and grab it.

Silly world. Get off your asses. Everything you dreamed can still come true. Go work for it.

(Image courtesy of Nicole Bedard Photography.)

When the coach announces something tough to be tried, who’s the bravest person in the class? Often the person who volunteers to go first. They also might be the dumbest and the most scared. Or the smartest. There are lots of reasons they could have for going first. But at least they raised their hand and said “Yeah, take me. I’ll do it.” You can respect someone with guts, whether or not you agree with them.

Kind of like you can respect someone who uses their real name. Folks who hide behind aliases and keyboards all the time don’t earn my respect. How tough is it to type mean things under a false name? Not tough at all. But you want to tell the world what you believe while using your real name? Game on. I can respect that. The other bullshit is not worth my time. Unmanly. Unwomanly. Cowardly.

I don’t know everything about this life but I have learned this: life is a lot more fun (and rewarding) if you’re the person who says, “Fuck it. This is me” or “I want to try that.”

Throw your heart on the table and life will respond. Stop being a chickenshit. Be the fucking rooster and earn the right to strut and wake everybody else up.

(Image courtesy of Nicole Bedard Photography.)

How you react right then and there is going to determine whether your life gets better … or whether it gets worse. Are you going to lay on the floor and cry? Or are you going to jump back up and protect yourself?

When you CrossFit, you kind of prepare for unexpected shit. Sure, thrusters and burpees aren’t the same as losing your job or getting tossed out of your apartment or finding a lump where there shouldn’t be one, but they’re something. They are hardships that you willingly endure so that when you have to unwillingly take a suckerpunch, you’re kind of ready. You put yourself into uncomfortable situations so that you can handle it when your personal comfort train jumps the track.

Will things still suck? Yup. Will you still want to punch somebody? Yup. Will you? Probably not. But you might pick up the kettlebell and do an extra 30 swings. You might burn through “D.T.” a little faster. You might get an extra 20lbs on your deadlift. And, somehow, these things will help you cope.

You can never be prepared for everything. You’re going to get knocked down. But you can practice taking the blow and getting back up. It’ll help. And life will go on.

(Image courtesy of Nicole Bedard Photography.)

See, if you’ve got a winner’s heart, a successful soul, a burning desire to be more than you’re really sure you can be — you’re going to have some sleepless nights. You’re going to see the ghosts of your failures. And you will recognize those empty eyes and aching soul of defeat when you see them in others.

So, what to do? Do what you’ve always done. Sit back after the defeat and think. Analyze. Brutally and honestly assess your performance. What went right, what went wrong, what you can learn to do better next time — whether the failure was in your workout, a competition, your job, or your relationship. Whether you failed at a lift or you failed in an argument with your child, you can learn from what happened and do better — be better — next time.

What’s the difference between winners and losers? Winners did the work to figure out why they kept losing — and they fought like hell to get better.

Disappointment can be a fantastic catalyst, if you know how to use it well. Harness that energy. Decide to win, and go do what needs to be done.

(Image courtesy of Nicole Bedard Photography.)

I will fight. I will struggle. I will scratch and crawl my way to that PR. I will keep going when I think I can’t. I will succeed even when it seems failure is the only option. I will count me in when others count me out.

Who are you to think you can defeat me? Who are you to underestimate me? Have you ever lived in my head? Breathed my air? Felt my soul? No. And if you did, you would be smart enough to be scared. Very scared.

[box]I am a word beyond relentless. A power beyond unstoppable. A force this world has not even really begun to understand.[/box]

Go ahead and underestimate me. I like it better that way. I will simply keep working until there is nothing between me and … victory.

(Image courtesy of Nicole Bedard Photography.)

So, when people speak on a topic, I remember that they are not me and I am not them. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But lately I’m seeing a lot of intolerance in the world (in our community and elsewhere) and so I’m speaking up.

Here’s my opinion:

It’s not okay to be spew hate, or be generally rude, or a jackass.

So, it’s not okay to yell at fat people for being fat. It’s not okay to yell at unfit people for being unfit. Maybe you’ve devoted your life to being fit and spreading the joys and worth of fitness, but it’s still not okay. I firmly believe that we are here to teach in this life, not to berate and lord over. If you want to see change, help make that change through effort, not venting.

Instead of yelling and hating, talk and educate. Use a discussion to discuss, not berate. Learn to rise above. And while you’re at it, eliminate stupid-ass shit from your vocabulary: like using “gay” when you mean stupid or wrong. Use “gay” if you mean homosexual. Otherwise, you’re just showing how dumb and/or scared you are. And, for the love of all that is human, stop hating on women. Seriously, that shit is so old. Every single one of you f***ers came out of a woman. Every single one. Show some respect for your mothers and half the world’s population.

Grow up.

Befriend someone in need and teach them. The person who needs your help most is probably the person who least looks like you. Close your mouth sometimes and open your ears and your heart. Do something worthwhile with your words and your time.

Elevate. You’re better than the smack you talk. Show me.

(Image courtesy of Nicole Bedard Photography.)

Yes, it’s that simple. Don’t try to get all rational about it and start adding up logistics and woes and excuses and nonsense and craptastic attitude inhibitors.

Today is your lucky day if you think it is. Today is the day you get that PR, or you make that lift, or you just have a damn good workout in which you don’t feel the injury you’re nursing. Maybe for an hour today, your heart soars and you forget your troubles, your losses, your empty ache in this life. That’s a lucky day, isn’t it?

There is going to be a shitload of things that happen today that you cannot control. Deal with it. Deal with each and every situation: decide if each one is a challenge or a burden. But remember this: challenges are a hell of a lot more fun than burdens.

See, the only thing you can control is your attitude. You can explode or you can laugh. You can fall or you can rise. You can hurt, or you can help. Pick what you’re going to do, and don’t be surprised when your attitude predicts your accomplishment.

Today is your lucky day if you think it is.

(Image courtesy of Nicole Bedard Photography.)

This is the look you should see when you want to:

—Choose a lighter weight than you can handle because you’re being a big old wuss

—Eat a donut or some other piece of crap disguised as food

—Ease up on the last 20m of that run

—Spread stupid-ass gossip about people who are minding their own damn business, thankyouverymuch

—Leave a tip less than 20% after your waitress has hustled her buns off for you

—NOT hold the door for people coming through behind you

—Bathe yourself in chalk before the WOD

—Drop an unloaded barbell

—Say an unkind word to your mother

Remember that look. Police yourselves. Improve your life and the lives of everyone around you. Thanks, Tommy Lee.